happy me

happy me
"I'm not pissed yet"

Thursday, September 18, 2014

School Daze or “Papa don’t take no mess!”


     Let me first start by saying that most of my time in school, both my brother and I got no end of bullying all throughout school. Never one to back down from a fight (except for a few years after I smashed my nose and face into reconstructive surgery falling off a homemade skateboard when I was 9 and could not bring myself to hit someone else in the face...that’s a whole other blog and I got over that by the end of Jr. High)
I hate bullies with a passion. So much so that even now, I will get in the middle of something that is not really my business, if it’s 2 or 3 against one.
That being said.....
My oldest son Ian had spent his first year in middle school (A. E. Wright) in the same district as Josh and Lauren. since Ian had changed schools several times since kindergarten, I thought it important he stay in the same district with his brother and sister, not to mention the friends he'd made, for the sake of stability. My 2nd wife had other ideas. There was a school near our house within walking distance called Hale Middle School (we later named it "Hell" Jr High because of its reputation). My wife and I fought all summer long about Ian going to that school. She wanted to use Ian as kind of a "guinea pig" for Josh and Lauren. Never mind he'd changed school districts more than the other two combined, which was not at all! By the time  Ian was in 2nd grade, he'd changed schools AND districts 4 times! Sure enough, my wife won the "war of attrition" (she was an expert at it!) and Ian ended up in "Hell". About 3-4 weeks in, he was getting bullied by 3 kids on a daily basis and would not talk about it, except to Josh, who was horrible at keeping secrets and told me. On one particular day, they bloodied his nose (almost breaking it) by smashing it on his desk as he was leaving. I took up the argument yet again with my wife and she had this "wait and see" BS attitude. Meanwhile, my poor little guy was going to school afraid every day.
       A week or so later, Ian was not where he was normally supposed to be for me to pick him up. I drove down Platt Ave. to see if he'd started walking home and there he was, walking as fast as he could, the "three little shits" 10-20 yards behind him. I pulled the van over with Josh in tow and told him to wait in the car. Ian took one look at me and tried to say something. I just told him to get in the van while I waited for these little fuckers to walk up to me. I got directly in their faces and said, "Are you the little snots that bloodied Ian's nose and won't leave him alone?". I could see the fear in their eyes as they admitted doing so. I told them, "I know who your parents are, I know where you live (I didn't really know either of those things, but I was beyond pissed and on a roll!) and I swear to God, if you even LOOK at Ian funny and I find out about it, I will come to your houses, grab your fathers and kill them in front of you in your own kitchen! ARE WE CLEAR?" (one was nearly in tears and I didn't give one fuck, for I was furious and PAPA DON'T TAKE NO MESS!) The kids, fearing for their lives, nodded yes and promised me they wouldn't bother him again. I waited for my significant other to get home, loaded for bear (usually when i'm loaded for bear, I end up shooting squirrels!), told her what had happened and then TOLD her that Ian would be back at A. E. Wright, end of fucking story! Within 2 weeks he was back at his old school as happy as could be! Those little shits could've been dead that very day had I not shown real restraint!
PS: Just a short disclaimer...I DO NOT condone this behavior for parents in the  least, it's just that I was so incredibly frustrated at the time and I love my children passionately!

M. Lanning 9/18/14






1 comment:

  1. I can relate to how you felt, Michael. I was the avenger for my two sons and daughter and felt the same satisfaction when I dealt with the "little shits" directly. Takes the wind right out of their bully-ass sails, doesn't it? Thanks for sharing...love your way with words. Pam

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